Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
