I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
