It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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