I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
smell my finger.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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