Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize