Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
