Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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