Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
