operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize