Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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