ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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