Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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