sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
