The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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