I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
