I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
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dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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