yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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