ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
