Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
