Got a toothbrush?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize