Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
