I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize