please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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