you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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