before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
