I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize