Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
