Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
