I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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