So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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