We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
