Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize