Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
