That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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