I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize