My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
