Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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