I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize