Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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