Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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