Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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