Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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