did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
