Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At least make sure they are 18
Why
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
