i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I will be naked everywhere
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
