I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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