never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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