is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize