yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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