I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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