There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
