oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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