Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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