My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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