Her vagina should come with caution tape.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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