I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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