she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
