I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
