your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
